Shortly after Greg Canessa was ousted as the chief of  Microsoft’s Xbox Live Arcade division, the service began picking up with a string of successful ports and original IPs. This culminated in back-to-back double header Wednesdays (4/18 and 4/25), the first of which featured Digital Eclipse’s Gyruss and Sierra Online’s 3D Ultra MiniGolf Adventures. MiniGolf proved to be a niche success; it was the only game of its kind on the Marketplace, and the putt-putt was authentic enough to be fun and engaging, but still “arcade-y” in every sense. Gyruss, on the other hand, was a bomb.

Gyruss is a repackaging of the 80’s arcade game that went by the same name. It includes the Microsoft-standardized enhanced graphics, online leaderboards/co-op play, and achievements. If you don’t recall playing Gyruss in the arcades as a young lad, it’s because you probably didn’t. Galaga was superior in every way. If you do remember playing Gyruss in the arcades, you had too many quarters and not enough good sense.

The game looks similar to Galaga at first glance; your ship is at the bottom of the screen, and enemies and obstacles barrel down at you. Shoot first and ask questions later. However, unlike Galaga, in which the enemies descend straight down from the top of the screen, Gyruss is presented in a conical format. The enemies spawn and close in from the center of the screen to the outside of the screen. The player controls the ship and moves it in a circle around the edges of the screen, shooting inward toward the approaching adversaries. It’s like shooting while traveling through Star Wars’ hyperspace.

The controls are basic; move, and shoot. Nevertheless, they do get janky when the player is forced to move quickly around the screen because of the onslaught of enemies. Move left and you will move in a clockwise direction around the screen. However, once you reach the apex of the circle, you are moving right…the idea was healthier than the execution on this one.

If you are an Arcade addict (*author hangs his head and raises his hand*), then pick this one up for 5 bones. Everybody else go buy Galaga or Geometry Wars, the shooters that matter.